Sunday, August 31, 2014

Ikea trip

Since when did I become the one taking these quizzes?  This morning Sophia (5) at sunrise - before I even had the chance to stretch starts by asking me several questions.

1) mommy does Milo have a:
A) pool
B) trampoline.

2) who had a despicable me birthday party? Was it Joe? 
Oh my she brings me to my knees with laughter most days.

Today we decided on an impromptu ikea trip. I'm trying to completely finish the kids bedroom. 
What a disaster of a trip.  First fail of the day - kids up early.  Early meaning 7am.  Usually they are pretty good at sleeping in past 8am.
Second- zero parking at ikea.  This should have made me clue in.  Anyways after circling the lot we found a space - the very furthest space from the ginormous north York location. 
Ugh!  Instantly it starts. Charlotte wants to walk.  But not hold my hand.  This is not an option so I tightly grip her little hand as we slowly fight our way through the large parking lot.
She buckles her knees and twists and turns.  I pick her up and she arches her back and screams.    Finally I make my way to a cart.  Strap her in (thank you safety belts in shopping carts). 
She loses her shit!  Screaming kicking,  hitting me.  It's hot and humid and insanely busy.  
We must trek on.   We just drove 90 minutes to get here.   
Elevator broken at main entrance.  So we push our way through the store in the wrong direction of traffic to find a central elevator.   Of course people are glaring. Me firmly reminding Sophia and Christopher to
Hold the cart which is holding the screaming banshee aka Charlotte.  Spiralling through the store trying to find our way to the start of the store.
Ugh!  Charlotte is losing her mind.   I let her out while swooning over a 'model kids room' all three go into discovery mode - testing the furniture for durability by slamming themselves on the bed and chairs.   Time to keep moving.  I ask the other two to hold the cart again and i quickly snatch Charlotte up and rebuckle her into the cart.  
It's so busy.  She's losing her mind on me.  Part if me just wants to leave. But the other wants to finish the mission.   Must find plastic bug light, malm shelf and new duvet for Chris.
People are glaring at me : whispering - Charlotte continues to scream.  She wins this one. Jason packs her up and carries her to the van while I'm
left with team  older two. 
Easier now?  Nope. We get to the fabric section.  Oh the ideas that are flowing though my brain.  I could sew this and add this trim and ohhhhh the beautiful colours of drapery fabric.   The possibilities are endless.  
Then of course the older two start nattering at each other.  Sophia slugs Chris in the back. People are glaring, I'm trying to smile and hold myself together.   I do the right thing.  I take a way this princess stuffed puppet I intended on buying for her.  She loses her ever loving mind.  "I'll stop it, I'll stop it, I'll stop it, she yells!  Chris is crying people as looking at me.  I just want to crawl into the pillow bin and cry.  Nope:  I'm not giving up.  I've got a cart full of cheap ikea goods. We make our way to the warehouse to pick up our big ticket items. 
Holy crap!  My blood pressure is on the rise.  It's so busy, people are cutting in front of me.   I'm looking for aisle 12 bin 19-25 - Sophia and Christopher are somewhat under control now except the fact that Chris has announced he has to pee.   I beg him to hold it. I'm scrambling to make sense of the bins and pieces.  Thinking to myself, why the eff do I need to buy the legs separate to the base of the high chair?   Can't you just sell it as one piece?  Argh! 
We race to the self check- out where we wait. And wait, all the while Chris is telling everyone he's going to pee his pants.   And all the while I'm promising him the world if he holds it til we get to the bathroom.
Phew, we check out and make our way to the family bathroom...... That has 10 people waiting in line.  Frantically I push through the crowd to get outside where thankfully Daddy is parked at the exit waiting for us. (With a now sleeping Charlotte)  Jason takes Sophia as I rush Christopher to the rear tire where he relieves himself. 
Safely we exit the parking lot and head to our next stop.   Is it mommy nap time yet?